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Jonathon Thackeray, MD review for SCAN Newsletter of the American Academy of Pediatrics Volume 25, Number 1, Winter 3013

“This Hurts Me More Than It Hurts You” is a fascinating look at corporal punishment through the eyes of the child. Part One, as told through the illustrations and words of children, describes how corporal punishment makes them feel. A collection of poignant essays, moving poems and illustrations bring to life the reactions experienced by these children. Emotions such as fear, anger and despair are represented and portrayed in ways that simply aren’t describable in traditional textbooks and journal articles. Part Two is advice directly from the child to those who choose to engage in corporal punishment. The reader is taught about those disciplinary tactics that the child finds effective – establishing consequences, making amends, using reason, and treating with equality among others. Finally, Part Three offers practical resources to parents and professionals, including common questions and answers related to spanking, a list of online resources, recommend readings and information on brochures, handouts and DVDs on child discipline.

In spite of the well-documented detrimental effects of corporal punishment, including its associations with child maltreatment, many families continue to engage in this practice. This book is a timely and poignant resource for parents, professionals and child advocates alike who have an interest in this subject.

Midwest Book Review

“This Hurts Me More Than It Hurts You: In Words and Pictures Children Share How Spanking Hurts and What To Do Instead” is primarily a selected collection of poignant artworks and statements by children about the experience of being physically punished by adults. In this professionally edited and resourced book, the children’s voices are clearly heard. It is divided into three sections: Part One, Spanking Makes Children Feel …, Part Two, What Children Respond To Instead of Spanking, and part Three, Resources for Parents and Professionals Who Work With Families. In addition there are a list of questions and answers on spanking, a list of related web sites, bibliography and other resources relevant to physical punishment and alternatives. “This Hurts Me More Than It Hurts You” is an excellent, innovative contribution that provides a new outlook on an old problem.

SKIPPING STONES MAGAZINE, a multi-cultural literary Magazine, Vol.23, No.5 Nov-Dec. 2011 , Bookshelf p. 32

This Hurts Me More Than It Hurts You: Children Share in Words and Pictures How Spanking Hurts and What to Do Instead (Center for Effective Discipline)

The message is most effective when presented in children’s own words and art, and that’s what this book does.  Almost 50% of parents in this country still use physical violence to discipline their children, and the book shows why they should not.
ISBN 978-0-615-45467-2

At last we hear the childhood victims speak.

For over forty years as a Children’s Advocate and reading the abundant research in corporal punishment, at last here is an extraordinary book filled with children’s writings and drawings expressing their feelings on being treated violently. We adults tend to suppress how it feels to be slapped and spanked, yet the majority of U.S. kids are so treated. More than one page of this book brought tears to my eyes.

In my research I have found Zero psychological and philosophical justification for punishing children in any way, much less in hitting them. So 45 years ago my wife and children and I together found ways to eliminate all forms of punishment in our home. In my book “Parenting Without Punishing” I show how, with our Democratic Discipline family meetings, we all shared responsibility for treating each other with civility. Instead of lectures and shaming, the children learned by parents’ modeling the desired behavior. Hence, the kids were, say, never taught manners; instead they were treated with courtesy. They matured considerably sooner than their peers. They are now in their forties, with college degrees and successful in their careers & happy families. This 18-year “research” is my argument that no extra patience is necessary, only understanding the basic goodness of a child, and respecting that. – Norm Lee

“This Hurts Me More Than It Hurts You: In Words and Pictures, Children Share How Spanking Hurts and What To Do Instead”, is a wonderful resource!

It conveys – in ways that our professional language and analyses never can – the pain and pleas of children who experience physical punishment. Their compelling words and evocative drawings should reinforce our determination to ensure that all children receive the same protection from assault we adults take for granted and that all parents understand the value of positive discipline.

Ron Ensom, M.S.W., RSW
co-author, Canadian Joint Statement on Physical Punishment of Children and Youth